How can you increase wholeness? That is probably not a correct way of saying it, but let me explain.
When you fully accept something, perhaps a part of you that you disowned before, or were hiding because you were experiencing some troubling emotions around it and accept to show it, your range of being human increases. You can experience more of life. When this happens, joy and flow occur.
I will give an example of such an experience to illustrate my point. For most of last year, as I was lost and disconnected from myself in my wandering, priviledged refugee type of life, I kept on looking outside of myself for a solution. As I did this I was constantly banging against my own self judgments of what I thought (not felt) I should do. My head was guiding the show.
I had signed up for a mentoring program and a number of participants had PhDs and higher education. As I compared myself and I don’t have a PhD, my life force shrank. I thought that most of the people with PhDs who have a website are automatically successful and credible and because I didn’t I was necessarily a failure. I have a very strong judge, one that crucifise you too!…
So I chose to face my fear of being judged for what I don’t have (the ultimate higher education degree! in my view) and chose to create connections with some titled participants, to realize that beyond the persona the title portrays, there is a loving human being with the same type of struggles I go through.
So by facing my fears of being judged, which really were all my own self judgments, and accepting a part of myself that doesn’t have a PhD and is still OK and deserving, despite of it, I opened up my world to new experiences with people from all walks of life.
So instead of narrowing down my life inside the walls of my own judgments, by facing those very judgments, I am able to set myself free and experience a greater playing field in this game of life.