My beloved cat Noiran died on October 2nd and the day after I buried him the thought of going to Dubai and participate in the workshop “Holotropic Breathwork” that my friend Andrea Anstiss was organizing, imposed itself in my consciousness. I am sure he had something to do with it as he still is my most trusted teacher.
On October 8th during the full moon and the solar eclipse the energies for the shift in consciousness were heightened and I have not failed to feel them. On that day, a little over three weeks ago I flew to Dubai and participated in the workshop. “Holotropic Breathwork” is a process that combines accelerated breathing with evocative music to enter a non-ordinary state of consciousness.
At the end of the workshop I attempted to grasp the experience I had visually in a drawing. However it took all that time to put words to the lived experience. What keeps on wanting to be expressed is something like this:
I AM That Which Is, We All ARE multi-dimensional super beings living in the eternal NOW and right now I am, we are ALSO having a human existence and are evolving into the next stage of conscious existence on planet Earth.
Gone seems to be the critical voice that kept whispering “Who do you think you are”, “Not good enough”, etc… The voices of the lower mind, the local small self, seeing life through the lens of the program of fear and separation that I have been attempting to heal from throughout my life.
During Holotropic I had flashbacks of multiple past lives or current lives on different planes of time and space, not quite sure which one is more correct, perhaps both. This was definitely a transpersonal experience which took me beyond the boundaries of my small local ego self.
My experience is as real as the feeling I get when I touch my own body, it is now part of my integrated lived truth and it no longer requires proof!
I am always amazed at the way guidance emerges in my life and I have referred to the thoughts and ideas through which it manifests as “energy hits from my soul“. When it does it is compelling and unwavering. I just have to do it, no turning back.
In hindsight if I look back at my life, many extra-ordinary experiences have always guided my path. Holotropic Breathwork seems to be an integrative experience of the many others; an experiential stepping into the multi-dimensional eternal reality that is happening on many levels simultaneously. I am no longer keeping myself separate from That Which Is. I will be writing more on that in future blogs.
Let me name a few of those experiences that have guided my awakening in no chronological order:
- In the year 2000 while I was searching through the site of Omega Institute I was totally mesmerized by the description of the Shapeshifting workshop with John Perkins, Personal and Global Transformation and I had to go! The clarity was instantaneous and no doubting thought ever even had a chance to enter my consciousness. This workshop opened my connection to the shamanic path and the ancient blood memory of a life close to Mother Earth and the physical substances that make up our body.
- In 2001 a call by the woods to go immerse myself in a solo track in nature. The message came through a constant fluttering in my hara center experienced back then like a drumming going on in my guts. It stopped when I heeded the call. A few months later I started my 10 day solo track while fasting in Algonquin Park, after a week of survival training with Tom Brown in New Jersey.
- In 2010 I heard Dr. Eric Pearl on Healing With The Masters read 6 sentences, channeled messages given to him and I was instantly pulled in, they spoke to me personally and there again I was attracted to the next Reconnection Workshop like a magnet, this time I few to Italy to attend and it is only now after the integrative experience of Holotropic that I fully understand was this meant to me. It is only now I fully grasp what this Reconnection experience was, e.g. as described on their site: “…the reconnection of DNA strands and the reintegration of “strings” simultaneous – or parallel – planes of existence…”
- In 1980, even earlier, as I was watching a sunset, I had a unity experience where I grasped the dimension of eternity of my being, past, present, future….all part of the eternal NOW. This experience totally shifted my life orientation and my search for meaning began in earnest. 35 years later, I now totally get who I really am, a Divine being having a human experience, and daring express that experience, this is the “new” part emerging. And I am living in a female body at a time when a shift in consciousness on the Planet is paramount and at a time when the world needs to reconnect to the Divine Feminine, the Creatrix, the Goddess co-creator.
- Or my call to go to India searching for who I really am in 1988 I came back enlightened. The experience offered a container for all the healing work I still had to do, a deep dive into ego resumed.
The old control programs of the lower mind which kept me disconnected from my heart, my true Self and who I really am, seem to have vanished for now.
My whole current life on this plane of reality seems to have been a healing journey from the time I was born through a difficult birth.
My tag line since the Reconnection attempted to capture the journey I have been on: “Awaken, heal and reconnect”. True healing can only emerge from a reconnection to That Which Is through an awakening to our true essential spiritual nature. Indeed a long journey of back and forth through multiple layers of doubts and resistance creating the drama of our life.
Perhaps to create a context for readers who might never have had such experiences I want to share what Dr. Larry Dossey had to say on Global Oneness Day 2014. He was asked some questions based on his latest book, where he goes into greater details: One Mind, How Our Individual Mind is Part of a Greater Consciousness and Why It Matters. I haven’t read the book yet.
During his keynote address on that day Dr. Dossey said that “between 15-20 million Americans have had Near Death experiences that we know about”, not counting all those who never report having had such an experience, all “expressing absolute unity and oneness with everything there is”. Our experiences don’t lie and they corroborate with laboratory experiences conducted by science all over the world showing that minds simply aren’t separate, citing him: “We can communicate thoughts, emotions, and feelings with people on the other side of earth. We are not locked in our brains and bodies and separate from everything.” And I want to add we can even communicate beyond this current experience of our 3D reality!
The awakening journey is a process and I certainly have gone back and forth, at first guided by personal powerful experiences then searching to make sense out of them by studying, reading what is happening scientifically, which helped me accept and step beyond the doubting lower ego mind.
The Holotropic Breathwork experience for me was an integrative one, finally I embody my whole Self, I can say I have come home, I am One and it feels humbling and good. I finally belong here and there! Everywhere!
Life on this plane is good; I can now start to enjoy it, and fully experience its magnificence just for its own sake, no longer in search of meaning. Now I know and I AM.