Since mid December events unfolded at a faster pace that I could digest and I feel the need again, as so often when I write on my blog to integrate through the written word what my life has created for me to now attempt to make sense of.
As some of you know we have spend 10 days in Karachi, Pakistan at the end of the year, invited to a wedding of one of my daughter’s friend. This created an opportunity for our little family to visit the country my husband left some 45 years ago to immigrate to Canada and to which he had not been back to for well over 20 years.
There we stayed with a cousin on his father’s side, a part of his family that had never left in a house where all windows are protected by security bars and alarm systems.
The unconditional welcoming love I felt from Javed, Shaheda, Rani, Muntazir, Shaheen and so many others has created an overwhelming experience for me from people who a few months ago did not even know that I existed. I had never experienced such a welcome and cannot recall in my own life a time when I would have offered such an experience to another human being. This has created a deep opening in my consciousness which was to be further opened a few days later by the events happening in Paris.
The other overwhelming experience for me from our trip to Pakistan was the radical contrast between the “haves” and the “have-nots”, the ones who live in the “better” part of town and the rest of the city, which to me looked like a big, endless slum-like ghetto of chaos, poverty and desperation, witnessed when driving through town.
At times I had tears in my eyes, deeply touched, breaking my heart open. Some people living in similar conditions to a Western standard, albeit some in outright luxury. All houses however in that part of town tightly secured with alarm systems and/or security guards at their door step. A sign to me that something is not quite right or safe.
In contrast when driving outside the Defense or Clifton areas of Karachi, a city within the city, we were immediately immersed in another world where everybody is left to fend for themselves, traffic jams, beggars, poverty, dilapidated buildings and an overwhelming impression of chaos albeit an impression of inevitable acceptance and resignation to the status quo.
I was deeply imprinted by these 10 days in Pakistan and when we returned to Riyadh early January I was looking forward to make sense of all my impressions and to write about it.
Then on January 7th, 2015 another monumental event shook my world: the terrorist attacks against Charlie Hebdo in Paris, France, my home country and the killing of journalists and innocent victims because they belonged to a specific community.
For a week my life was paralyzed, suspended it seemed from its normal course of events, I just could not function.
I could only be witness to what was being reported on worldwide television.
I was definitely connected emotionally to the wave of emerging consciousness of something urgently needing to change, as yet undefined, not yet articulated but so very deep and strong.
I only now feel ready to put some words to all that got triggered then.
To me there is a link between these events happening in different worlds, so often referred to as the first and the third world.
The fact that I had just come back from witnessing firsthand the deep divide between “haves” and “have-nots” in Pakistan, which had cracked my heart open, then witnessing the terrorists attacks in France and the symbolism of it all created an opening in my consciousness and a urgency to finally hear the calling in my soul and what needs to change worldwide which clearly to me points to what needs to change within each of us.
What needs to change within? How can we end the fragmentation within our mind that creates the disconnect from our authentic being and which then manifests outside through the immense disparity between “haves” and “have-nots”?
These ghettos exist everywhere the world over. I have witnessed them in India, Indonesia, Sri Lanka, New York, my own home town Strasbourg. Just 10 minutes by bike from where I live in France, there is one of those ghettos.
That fragmentation is the consequence of millennia of conditioned limiting mind programs that today are outright outdated and based on false beliefs about our true identity.
The feeling of fragmentation is certainly caused by all the areas within our psyche where we feel we do not belong, repressed or not in our shadows.
I have a long history of narrative in my own life where I have segregated my being from my outer experiences and isolated myself because not good enough, successful enough, etc… The endless comparison to somebody else or something else outside of myself.
From the onset of my life, I chose to be born in a multicultural setting. Many years ago I took responsibility for choosing my parents and birth circumstances, really only then starting the healing journey out of victim consciousness. Growing up post WWII in Alsace, speaking two languages, French and Alsatian, a German dialect.
I had firsthand experience of being different. Today I realize my feeling different partially came from my different upbringing, my mother being older, more articulate and outspoken than my friend’s. Back then mostly wanting to hide and dissociate from her because she was different and all I wanted is to be “ordinary” like everybody else. Only to realize later that we are all different and unique albeit connected to a larger source of oneness and unity.
But that was my journey of growing up and waking up.
When I grapple with the call I hear from my soul and higher guidance, I ask what can I do?
I have to be with that question daily, not to fall back into past habitual attitudes of keeping myself isolated.
An small example the other day at the train station where I stopped to buy a ticket to go and visit my sister last Sunday. A young man stopped me and asked: “are you from here”?
That is always a strange question for me, since I am always passing by and have no real in-depth knowledge of my hometown. I noticed the first thought that came to mind “he must want some money”, noticing in real time my automatic thought program triggered by a stranger’s request. I am sure I am not the only one with this program.
But I stopped because I am genuinely searching for the small things I can do to heal from the individualistic disconnect present the world over. It turned out he was looking for a place I vaguely knew about. So instead of saying I don’t know and move on, I tried to locate it on the map and gave him an indication of the direction he must take to find it.
When I then left, I felt good, I had connected with another human being and been helpful. A very small gesture. But maybe that is the only thing that is ever necessary. To extend one small hand to another human being.
Taking a small step rather than thinking I first need to have all my online structure fully wired and connected to millions to feel like I am making a difference.
The ideas that are emerging and that I am exploring is to conduct a series of interviews on authentic living in diverse cultures helping bridge diverse points of view, highlighting blind spots, outdated beliefs.
The first intention I connect with is to explore with others the process of waking up to what is possible when we consciously grow up and embrace all that is, our essence.
If some of you reading this would like to participate, please leave a comment and I will contact you. This will be a co-creative endeavor, alone I will not go far.
What are you willing to be and do to help heal the world from its fragmentation. The time is now. There is urgency.